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TAPS - Legacies of Love
by U.S. Air Force 2nd Lt. Scarlett Rodriguez
July 8, 2018
Taps, a signal to military members as the end to the day, has
been given new meaning to family members who have listened to its
somber tune echo through graveyards, symbolizing the end of their
loved one’s life.
“When my dad passed away in an aviation
accident, it was 1997 and during the time in between the first Gulf
War and the later Middle Eastern wars,” said Capt. Nathaniel Lee,
weapons and tactics assistant flight commander with the 527th Space
Aggressors Squadron. “TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for
Survivors) was actually an organization that was in its infancy, it
was only a few years old at that time.”
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March 30, 2018 - U.S. Air Force
Capt. Nathaniel Lee, weapons and tactics assistant flight
commander with the 527th Space Aggressors Squadron, not only
serves Air Force Space Command through innovative training,
but offers his free time to Gold Star children who are
dealing with their grief. Lee’s family lost their father in
1997, and were all helped by the Tragedy Assistance Program
for Survivors. (U.S. Air Force photo by 2nd Lt. Scarlett
Rodriguez)
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TAPS was first created to help families of those who have died in
service to their country, and since has expanded to assist families
of suicide, post-traumatic stress disorder and stateside accidental
death; helping 75,000 surviving family members, casualty officers
and caregivers since their creation.
Lee, his mother and
brother were some of the 75,000 helped during the last 20 years.
“My mom found out about TAPS and the Good Grief program for
surviving children, and we went that next summer to Washington,” Lee
said. “It was really the first time I had the opportunity to
interact with other kids who were going through what I was going
through. That was a really rare and special thing that helped me in
my own grief journey.
“In addition to dealing with the
primary loss, my family, my younger brother, my mom and I were
dealing with a lot of the secondary loss,” he continued. “We were
dealing with a new school, new friends, a new environment and all
those other things that come with the life transition after the
loss.”
Fast-forward to adulthood, Lee entered the Air Force,
pinned on captain and recently become a father when TAPS wove its
way into his life once more.
“Coming full circle now to being
an adult and an active duty military member, I just saw, the call
for volunteers go out in the base bulletin for TAPS and remembered
it from my childhood,” said Lee. “It was just after I promoted to
captain, which was the rank my dad was when he had passed away in
his accident, and I just had a kid of my own. It all seemed to kind
of click really well together for me as a good time to give back to
a program that helped me out in my time of need as a kid.”
Since his initial volunteer work, Lee has come to know the TAPS
program, as well as its fellow mentors, well.
“Captain Lee
and I first met at a Regional TAPS event that was held in Colorado
Springs last March, 2017,” said Melissa Hermosillo, the
administrative assistant for the 21st Medical Group and TAPS
volunteer. “Some of the things I have learned about [him] is he is a
wonderful husband, great dad and good leader. He has been a part of
groups that I have led here in Colorado and Washington. He has been
active with the children that he has mentored and is a great role
model to other Gold Star children.”
The Gold Star children
Lee worked with not only changed his life for the better, but theirs
too. However, the relationships did not come without their
challenges.
“Going into [the TAPS program] I was pretty
nervous,” Lee said. “Some kids are really in pretty intense phases
of their grief journey and need someone to listen to them and talk
about [their parent] with, so I was nervous, when I first came back
as a mentor, about how I would be able to share my experiences and
my story, but once I got there, the TAPS program did a fantastic job
combining [mentors with kids] at an age-and-time appropriate level.”
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March 30, 2018 - U.S. Air Force
Capt. Nathaniel Lee has attended several Tragedy Assistance
Program for Survivors camps and conferences since entering
the program as a child, and now as a mentor. Lee has
collected memorabilia to commemorate several visits, and
wears the purple TAPS shirt to symbolize his legacy role in
the program. (U.S. Air Force photo by 2nd Lt. Scarlett
Rodriguez)
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Despite Lee’s reservations, Hermosillo confirmed his coming in with
the experience of losing a parent, just like these Gold Star
children had, makes the world of difference to the children he
mentors.
“Captain Lee is what we at TAPS refer to as a Legacy
Mentor. He wears a purple shirt at camps to identify him as such,”
she said. “At TAPS events, children will wear red shirts and our
active duty service members wear blue shirts as mentors. The
combination of the red and blue (purple) is a way for kids to know
that they are also survivors. They have walked in the shoes of these
children and can share their experience in a way that many of us
cannot.”
While Lee’s passion for the children he serves and
the nation he serves is great; his family, composed of his wife,
Samantha and daughter, Victoria, hold the largest place in his
heart.
“I don't think I've ever seen Nate happier than when
he's with his wife and daughter. I've been fortunate to be around
when she was born, and some of the most heartwarming moments happen
when he's playing with his daughter ignoring the rest of us because
he loves her so much,” said Capt. Kyle Rimando, wing executive
officer for the 50th Space Wing.
As his journey as an officer
and parent continues, Lee had a few things he hoped his daughter
would obtain as their lives progress.
“The things that I hope
to happen as she grows up, matures and learns is, first:
independence,” he said. “That’s something I really appreciated from
my childhood.”
Due to the nature of military life, there are
levels of independence military children learn to develop, whether
their parents intend it or not.
“Another one is the value of
service, and it doesn’t have to be military service,” Lee continued.
“I want my daughter to understand the importance of giving a part of
yourself to something bigger than yourself, in whatever form that
is. I hope one day she can look at my ‘going-away plaque,’ my
uniform or any other trinkets I’ve collected from my career and be
able to have some pride in that herself; that her dad served his
country.”
Finally, Lee said he wants to communicate to her
the importance of his service and why he works as hard as he does.
“I think for the military kids who have a good understanding of
what it is their parents are doing and why it’s important to the
national security of our nation, it helps them with the picture of
‘our family is doing something important.’”
Which is
something Lee understands in regard to his father’s sacrifice,
especially as he serves present day alongside his family, constantly
keeping U.S. Army Capt. Donald Lee in his thoughts.
“At an
event, we did an activity where our theme was stars. Where our kids
as well as our mentors, who are encouraged to participate, [honored]
their loved ones, be it family or friends [with a written message]
and we hung them around the room,” Hermosillo said. “On his star
Captain Lee wrote, ‘I have a new little girl who looks just like you
and is just like you...’”
TAPS has provided an avenue for Lee
to not only let out his conflict regarding his father, but grow as a
leader and develop a sense of safety regarding his family.
“One thing I’ve always kept in mind is, should anything ever happen
to me, this is an organization that will be there to support my
family. To me, that is such an important thing to continue to have
available for my family, and every other family of every person I
serve with,” Lee said. “This is an organization that will be there
for them if they ever need it.
Learn more about
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
Honoring The Fallen |
Don't Weep For Me |
Remember The Fallen |
Tears For Your Fallen
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