Walk Of Remembrance - Infant Loss Awareness
by U.S. Army Brandy Ostanik-Thornton
Medical Department Activity – Alaska (MEDDAC-AK)
October 13, 2025

At first glance, the laughter and easy conversation filling the fellowship hall at Northern Lights Chapel looked like any other community gathering. Families sat at brightly colored tables painting rocks, sharing refreshments, and chatting with friends and strangers.

Looking closer, however, there were quiet tears, hushed voices, and stories of loss.

The Walk of Remembrance, hosted October 5, 2025 by the Maternal Newborn Unit and Chaplain’s Office at Bassett Army Community Hospital, brought together families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, infant, or child loss. The event offered a place of comfort and connection during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

President Ronald Reagan established the national observance in 1988 to recognize families coping with such losses and to encourage open conversation about a subject that is often deeply personal and seldom discussed.

The ceremony began with an invocation from Maj. David Dyrenforth, chaplain for Medical Department Activity–Alaska, followed by remarks from guest speaker Dr. Kelly Donham, who shared her family’s story of loss during last year’s event. Donham opened with words of gratitude for the community of support that has formed through remembrance and shared healing.

“This is something near and dear to our hearts,” Donham said. “This grief isn’t recognized on a daily basis, and it’s private to each individual. Even knowing the right words can be difficult. This is a space for us to gather and remember the important little lives we have lost.”

After the ceremony, approximately 75 attendees gathered in the fellowship hall, where brushes and paint provided by the United Service Organizations (USO) waited at each table. Participants decorated rocks in memory of the children they lost, creating colorful tributes to carry home or place along the chapel’s walking path.

Among those painting was Kathleen, who delivered her son, Colton John, at Bassett Army Community Hospital just two months ago after going into preterm labor at 20 weeks.

Kathleen said she attended after receiving a personal invitation from the Maternal-Newborn Unit staff.

“I came for this,” she said softly, looking around the room at the tables filled with other participants. “I needed to know I wasn’t alone. I needed to share my grief with people who understand; to be able to talk about my experience and my son. It’s helpful for me.”

While sitting with Kathleen, Donham shared insight she’d recently learned from a Military and Family Life Counselor (MFLC) presentation.

“You see lists of the stages of grief, and think that’s how it happens, but grief isn’t linear,” Donham reflected. “The anger, the sadness, they can come up unexpectedly, even years later. But having a place to share helps us carry it together.”

Chaplain Dyrenforth said creating those spaces is essential within a military community.

“Sadly, we often experience grief in isolation,” said Dyrenforth. “This is especially true for military families that lose their support community when stationed in a new location. Bassett Hospital hosts the Walk of Remembrance in hopes of offers a visible sign of the supportive community on Fort Wainwright and Eielson AFB. I pray this event and ones like it will remind our families of the support offered by our community. We do not walk through grief alone; our military family walks with them.”

As the event drew to a close, participants stepped outside for a quiet walk around the lake behind the chapel. Luminary bags decorated with butterflies lined the path. Couples held hands, laughing children ran ahead, and others walked in silence.

As the setting sun reflected across the water, the message of the evening was clear: grief shared becomes lighter, and remembrance keeps love alive.

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